My heart is at home in: Tokyo. Part four.

My heart is at home in: Tokyo. Part one.

My heart is at home in: Tokyo. Part two.

My heart is at home in: Tokyo. Part three

After returning from Tokyo in 2015 my life progressed, my career progressed and my MS progressed.

X leaving me was the best thing that could have happened and I wish I had realised that many years earlier. I had fun internet dating but didn’t meet a new partner.

My family was rocked by the death of my father although coping with the grief pulled us even closer together.

I loved my new job. It was a complete change from classroom teaching and mainstream education. A steep learning curve with lots of challenges and amazing colleagues.

My care needs increased although I still worked full time, swam every week and had a full social life. I employed PAs who helped me get up in the morning and out of the flat for work, get out and about on the weekends and take me swimming and carers who put me to bed at night.

By 2017 I was using a powered chair for work and out and about. I had more adaptations to my car and continued to drive everywhere. I was able to employ a full-time support worker through Access To Work.

I hadn’t stopped travelling. During the summer of 2015 an old school friend invited me to stay with him and his family in Toronto. I stayed with friends in Germany. I went on a beach and safari holiday to Kenya on my own in 2016, managing with help and support organised along the way and the kindness of hotel staff. I had a great holiday in Majorca with Mum in June 2017.

One sunny day in early July 2017 I was at a work conference and over lunch outdoors I asked my support worker/PA whether she would be up for travelling to Tokyo with me. We got on really well and I knew I would be comfortable travelling with her.

So much of my heart and soul was still there and yearned to be back in the city I had fallen in love with. The once in a lifetime trip was not enough. I couldn’t do it without care support and it was a big ask, so I was over the moon when S said she was up for it.

Instead of months of planning like last time we sat on my sofa with a laptop, glass of red wine in hand, took a deep breath and booked the flights and hotel in one evening. There was no need for nervousness about the unknown, just pure excitement about finally returning.

A few weeks later in August 2017 we were on a plane to Narita airport. I listened to Dawn and Merry Christmas Mr Lawrence once again as we landed. This time I can write using ‘we’ as it was very much a shared experience.

Accessibility wise things were a little different to last time. I was in a powered chair so was more independent getting around but my mobility had reduced so I needed more help with everything else.

The subway, lifts and toilets were a constant theme throughout the trip. All the subway stations were accessible by lift but on leaving the station the lift was very often a long way from the entrance and you would come up on some random back street at least a block away from where you expected to be. Google Maps were essential!

Using the subway in a powered chair was amazing. In the manual chair I didn’t need a ramp as I could be tipped up and down the step in and out of the train. In the powered chair the guard at the turnstile would ask us where we were going and then a guard would meet us and escort us down to the platform.

We would then be met by another guard who would have the ramp ready when the train arrived. Whenever we pulled into our destination there would be a guard waiting with a ramp. They were all dressed in smart attire with a cap and white gloves and bowed before and after helping us. We travelled the subway a lot and not once was there no one to meet us.

There are plenty of accessible toilets in Tokyo and something I wish was common practice in all countries is that they have sliding doors, which are so much easier to negotiate when you are in a wheelchair or using walking sticks.

However, I needed S to help me use the toilet and the sliding doors opened and shut automatically at the press of a button. This made it impossible for S to sort me out and then leave the cubicle without the sliding door opening fully exposing me to the public before it closed again.

Therefore she had to stand in the corner with her back to me, which reminded me of the final scene of The Blair Witch Project and may me laugh every time. We laughed so much throughout the trip. It couldn’t have been more different to last time.

I knew I needed to get back to where the first trip had started so we went to Harajuku Station. This time, we turned left out of the station into trendy Harajuku and to the fabulous Starbucks at the top of the Omerosando department store on the recommendation of a friend. It had a great outdoor terrace.

Once we had our coffee it was time to deal with the unfinished business. We went back up the street, crossed the road and turned the corner to the Meiji shrine with its huge wooden torii gate. I saw it and sobbed and sobbed. I hadn’t expected that at all but realised it was my heart and soul, at home, healed and unbelievably happy.

Another day we went to Shinjuku so I could finish things there. I went to the street outside the bar which was on the top floor of the building where X played his gig on the last night of our trip. I thought my thoughts then headed down to the hotel. I sat outside the entrance and relived the final few minutes as we had left the hotel that dreadful morning. Job done. I was at peace.

The hotel S and I stayed in was in Asakusa, a few minutes away from the Sensō ji temple, one of the biggest and most popular with tourists and for good reason. I had spent an afternoon there before but could now go there whenever I wanted from the hotel. Several times times I went there late afternoon/early evening when it was quiet to just sit and think. It still amazes me the peace and tranquility that can be found in the middle of a city like Tokyo.

There are huge lanterns at the entrance. You then make your way past rows of stalls selling the type of souvenirs I absolutely love. Little Japanese dolls and keyrings, Hello Kitty fridge magnets, expensive chopsticks. You name it, if it’s synonymous with Japan it’s there.

Then you enter the grounds of the ancient Buddhist temple in all its glory, large incense burners filling the air with fragranced smoke. The temple is huge but inside it is a place of peace and spirituality. People clap their hands, bow and make their offerings of coins and prayers

The highlight of the trip were two evenings we spent in Asakusa. One evening we had been out for food and wanted to carry on drinking. It was quite late and we went to a bar but it was closing. A man outside made the international sign language of a drink to which we nodded. He tipped his head back and pointed his thumb over his shoulder. We made our way in the direction he had signalled.

After a couple of minutes of walking we came across a tiny bar – more of a kiosk really. It was selling Prosecco and wine. There were a few chairs on the street in front of it and several people having a drink. It was perfect. We ordered wine from the young Japanese guy running the kiosk and settled ourselves amongst the seats. Within a minute a young woman came over to us and started chatting in fluent English.

The bar owner and all the people drinking there were friends and we were introduced to everyone. Y had lived in America, hence her perfect English. We had a great evening and when we left she told us about the local Obon festival that was happening the next evening at a nearby temple. It was a memorial and to raise money for the victims of the tsunami on its 6th anniversary.

We arrived early evening to find a courtyard set up with lanterns and a large structure in the middle with a huge Taiko drum on top. There were gazebos with seating under and lots of little food and drink stalls.

We made our way into the temple and sat and listened to the Buddhist monks chanting in mourning for the victims. It was beautiful and we stayed and soaked up the atmosphere and architecture for quite some time.

Heading back outside, the courtyard was filling up with locals young and old dressed in yukata. There was a performance of Taiko drumming by children which had me in tears of joy.

We bought drinks, sat down under the gazebos and chatted to the locals, particularly elderly women who were interested in finding out about us in their limited English and our non-existent Japanese. We were the only western tourists there. And so began the most memorable and magical of evenings.

As the sun went down the Bon Odori dancing began in earnest. Traditional music played and everyone gathered to dance in a circle around the Taiko drum. Most people knew the dance moves to every song but there were many who were copying and learning as they went. I was encouraged to join in my chair and did so willingly!

We drank large amounts of Prosecco from the stall run by the guy who owned the kiosk we had stumbled across and joined Y and her friends for an evening of fun and laughter together. The photos of us all that evening are full of joy and make me smile every time I look at them. It was hands down my best experience of Tokyo and its people.

I can’t believe how much we saw and experienced that week. Everywhere we went was an adventure. We explored the shops, sidestreets, parks, cafés, bars, restaurants, shrines and temples of Asakusa, Harajuku, Akihabara, Ueno and Shibuya. We went to the coastal town of Enoshima with its beautiful shrine at the top of a narrow hill lined with shops.

We got up early one morning and went to the sumo stable to see if we could catch a glimpse of the wrestlers training through the windows. There were several others waiting outside as well so we waited with them but unfortunately there was nothing to see. They used to show sumo wrestling on Channel 4 when I was a teenager and I loved it. It would be amazing to see a live match.

On the recommendation of another friend we visited the shopping street where restaurant owners buy their knives, every manner of cooking utensil and best of all the plastic food which is used as a display in the window to show what they serve. It is wonderfully realistic. One of my favourite fridge magnets is a nori sushi roll I bought there.

The weather in Tokyo in August is hot and humid. It was around 30° C and the air was soft and warm. I loved it. Whenever we left the air-conditioned hotel each morning I breathed a huge sigh of contentment. S felt the complete opposite but she walked miles with me around the city.

There were also torrential rain showers and we got soaked at least once. We found refuge in shops, shop doorways and on one occasion a little Italian bar on a side street where the owner served us a gorgeous platter of cheese, bread and olives with red wine.

We ate amazing ice cream, were served sake the traditional way where the cup is poured until it is overflowing to show generosity, and enjoyed all sorts of bizarre looking sweets and snacks.

On the last night around midnight we went in to a 24 hour store just around the corner from the hotel. It sold everything from food to dressing up clothes to rubber chickens to sex toys! We stocked up on as many sweets, snacks and chocolates as we had room left for in our suitcase.

I had a completely different experience of Tokyo to the first time. That time it was cultural, beautiful and awe-inspiring and very much a trip of my own. This time it was all of that but also fun and sociable and to share it with S who was enjoying it as much as me was wonderful.

I will be forever grateful to her for coming with me, helping me as much as she did and enabling me to enjoy the city night and day. I am happy to say we remained friends and she is now working as my PA again.

The trip was over and my love for Tokyo had grown even more than I thought possible from the first time. Revisiting places was wonderful and discovering new ones was exciting. I have to accept that I am highly unlikely to be able to visit again and it’s probably best that I didn’t know that when I left for the second time.

I have so many wonderful memories and more stories that could be told, but they are mine to treasure and revisit whenever I want.

It is a place that holds a large part of my heart and soul and I am so glad I followed my dreams there. Mending what was broken by going back for a second time was absolutely the right thing to do. I am unashamedly in love with the city, enamoured by anything to do with Japan and my heart is most definitely at home there.